he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
