You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh god it's open bar.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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