Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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