i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
