Sry I called you an 8
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
