I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
