If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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