someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
