ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
