Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
