the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
