Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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