I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How's work?
Spinning.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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