you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
