I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
