Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
