I can text with my tongue
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
