weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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