He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
