so that wasnt chicken after all
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
