I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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