so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
