I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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