Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
