Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
