Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
