I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
