I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
