she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
