jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
