Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
