Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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