Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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