You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
