I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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