is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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