Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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