Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
