did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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