I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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