obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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