its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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