I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
