I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
