Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm too high and old for this...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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