Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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