ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
