Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
