Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize