I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
